Success that fails
“Success that fails” – If something is successful, how can it be a failure ! Each one of us tries to achieve success on our own terms. Sometimes when we achieve success, it gives us a new kind of freedom and inspires us to continue and create a momentum. However in many cases, even after achieving the goals / success, we feel something is missing. ! In that success something is missing – It is that success that fails.
Something missing may be something very internal to us, very intimate to us, that we only know. The outside world amazes on our success! . But we know the reality of whether we are really enjoying it or not. However there are some successes that really inspire us to share the joy and inspire others as well. Are we experiencing more of “Success that Succeeds” or “Success that fails”.
My Personal Experience
This is my personal experience. About 20 years ago I purchased a residential flat . However, I always wanted to purchase a villa. Few years back, I just decided to purchase a villa and booked the villa house. From that time of booking the builder almost took 5 years to handover the villa.. After a lot of struggle, I moved into the villa house. However the construction was incomplete in so many ways. Internal quality of the house was not good. Finally my dream of 15 years was accomplished. But even after I moved to the new house, I felt that something was missing within me.
When I reflect upon myself on why I really purchased this house, it is more about getting appreciation from others ! than about really enjoying a house I wanted to have. Of course I wanted a house like that, I enjoyed the sense of accomplishment. . But in the back of my mind, I was doing this to get appreciation from others for having a villa house, nice place, etc., It is more about getting social acknowledgement from others ! Then I started creating justifications for purchasing the house in that location, and started telling stories about the new location to others. But, In fact there are so many issues. However, I am holding that place, for the simple reason that I wanted to show to others that I am living in nice place.
The act of getting acknowledgement from others is not only here, but also in different aspects of life ! I drive myself to get appreciation in some aspects of life like this. But I always felt like something was missing. Not all success is like this. Sometimes we realise, but sometimes we don’t even realise this and just move around by carrying the bag of “success that fails”
3 dimensions of success that fails
Then what is that “success that succeeds ?!” . I look at 3 dimensions of that success from my point of view.
- Personal level – What success produces at personal level?. If success creates a new kind of freedom and helps us to act with renewed strength then maybe it is really success. Instead of that if that success creates an external glory and internal pain, like my experience. How does it matter when it sucks really internally within us.
However, Sometimes some the success helps to express our ideas much more powerfully, something which we are connected with our innate source of power. This new kind of freedom and strength, may help us to get into a new realm of opportunities. Feeling like something fresh. A sense of being connected with others which gives a forward momentum with freedom and creativity. This is something that success that succeeds !
2. Social Level – How it is impacting the people around us, Yes we achieved success, in this journey what we have done to our colleagues, people around us ? Sometimes we are not even aware of what we have done to others. Is it not like dreaming in our own world?
Whether we like it or not, we are connected socially with others. May be in the race of getting elevated in the organisation, knowingly or unknowingly, if we have put down someone else for the same reasons, the other human being suffers. Casually we might have said, this person is technically average. But in reality that person is really sound technically. But what we said about that person being technically average has more weightage than the reality is. Imagine the impact it has.
How about taking effort in nurturing the relationship, nurturing another person in the best possible manner ? When we do this , I see that a new world emerges. Maybe we have some challenges in nurturing the relationship or grooming a person. But a new kind of freedom emerges from the intention of nurturing another human being.
3. Objective Level – What is the objective we have also plays an important role. Let us assume that we want to grow the business by 10X in the next 3 years. It is a great objective. At the same time, there are objectives which are defined to grow the business by 10x in the next 3 years whatever happens, even if it requires taking over the employees of a smaller company and leaving that smaller company in doldrums. I am not saying this is the intention, but in the process of achieving success , beating the competition. If we want to cut down all the trees on the road sides, how does it matter? It is a simple analogy of cutting down all the trees surrounding us and constructing a house. Then after constructing the house, we feel that there is not enough air and the climate is very hot.
Success that fails
Success that succeeds
It is a walk of life that starts with an intention to create a life of success that succeeds ! The intention is the beginning and it requires conviction for us to take this path. Many times we have the intention to do, but time slips for many years on what we want to do, and with only intention, we will not be able to do what we want to do.
This is a very old story about zen. In those days in China, students used to search for great zen masters. To meet one such master, many students travelled for many days and reached a monastery. The master was very severe, it was a cold winter, and the master throwed cold water on the students who approached him and he also shouted at him. Most of the students went away. Only two of them stayed and said to the master that they had travelled thousands of miles to meet him and study under him, throwing cold water and shouting at them will not do any harm to them. Then the master accepted them to be the disciples. So the conviction to create a life of success that succeeds is the path !
It is up to us to be firm like the two students who were clear about their path and how they want to go ! and this we know each of us and what we want to do in every walk of life !
How about reading about a new perspective – purpose of going to office ?
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